Dear Fellow Salvation Army Shopper,

I hate to make something out of nothing, but the shoes with the thick, corkboard soles are called WEDGES, not WEDGIES.

Yours in style,
Me

If. . . . .

Reasons not to clap your hands:

1.You are not happy, and you know it.
2. You are happy, but you do not know it.
3. You are happy and you know, but you don't really want to show it.
4. You do not have hands.