Death Be Not Proud

Sometimes when I'm on my way to work, I get delayed for several minutes at a railroad crossing. At first I get mad. And then I imagine that the traincars are filled with peas, trundling towards their doom in the mouth of a recalcitrant toddler. Godspeed, little peatrain. Godspeed.

Happy. And sad.

Today is Jim Henson's birthday. I could give you a long explanation of how much the Muppets influenced my life. It would be long and flowery and full of grandiose adjectives.

Instead, here's what I'll tell you. We played this song at our wedding.

six worst things about the week after Talk Like a Pirate Day

1. Getting to the mall by 3 am to get the best Blackbeard Friday bargains.
2. Dealing with the embarassment of being the last on your block to take down your decorative lawn plank.
3. Two words: parrot guano
4. Seeing all the lonely, discarded peg legs left by the curb for bulk trash day.
5. Busting out your fat pants to accomodate for post-pillaging bloat. 
6. Spending hours on the computer googling +leftovers +recipes +booty

The 12th Habit

Sure, Benjamin Franklin may have gotten a lot done, but that's because he didn't have such easy access to movies of babies playing with cats.

My Personal Left-Wing Conspiracy

You know you listen to too much public radio when you meet a professional statistician and you're surprised that her name is something other than Marge Inoverra.

Random Act

Dear Los Angelinos,

I am very sorry you have to endure this weekend's Carmageddon. One of the biggest shocks for me when I moved from Boston to this sprawling suburbia was the absolute necessity of having to drive a car to get anywhere useful.

And, because I am a kind person, I will spare you jokes related to disasters involving pirates (Arrrrrmageddon), Middle Eastern food (Shawarmageddon) and chocolate-coated spun sugar products (Mallomarmageddon).

I do this because I love.

Whew!

Really glad I woke up from that dream. Danny Aiello's birthday was coming, and I was really struggling with what to get him.