Dear Los Angelinos,
I am very sorry you have to endure this weekend's Carmageddon. One of the biggest shocks for me when I moved from Boston to this sprawling suburbia was the absolute necessity of having to drive a car to get anywhere useful.
And, because I am a kind person, I will spare you jokes related to disasters involving pirates (Arrrrrmageddon), Middle Eastern food (Shawarmageddon) and chocolate-coated spun sugar products (Mallomarmageddon).
I do this because I love.
12 hours ago