Wednesday, October 14, 2009

About Last Night. . .

As a temporarilyy hiatus-ed professional, I don't get a lot of opportunities for intelligent dialogue. The majority of my conversations are discussions with the cat about who really owns my desk chair, pressing or saying 1 to continue in English, and intellectual discourses on whether or not I want fries with that. So, I was really excited when the folks on Twitter started a game last night: #lessernovels. The goal: come up with lesser-known novel titles. It was a brilliant follow up to the previous night's #lesserquotes (which included my contributions "Want to see me make farty noises with my armpit?" - N. Bonaparte, "We'll always have Paris. . .and syphilis." - H. Bogart, and "You're off to a good start, but have you considered spelling S-E-X-Y in Old English font across the buttock?" - Tim Gunn)

There were many, many, many submissions. I joined at about 11:30 and stayed in the action until 4 am, when my funny fell out. I read way too many good ones to mention, but here are all of mine, plus a few from others (with the author's Twitter name in parentheses). If you've got your own (which I'm sure you do, as my friends are all very brilliant people), post them in the comments. I can't wait to see them.

Anyway, without further ado, here is the noise of my brain exploding. . .

#Lessernovels by Me

1. The Prime of Miss Jane Fonda
2. The Muffled Sniffles of Lot 49
3. A Prius for Owen Meaney
4. Uncle Tom’s Cabana Boy
5. JacksonHouse Five
6. The Lion, the Witch, and the Ward of the State
7. Jurassic Parking Lot
8. The Agony and the Expletive Deleted
9. The Canterbury Webisodes
10. The What Do You Call That Thing They Use to Mash Up Medicine and Stuff, You Know Like in the Olden Days by Arthur Miller
11. Call of the Girls Gone Wild
12. The Man in the Iron-On Mask
13. Beokitty
14. Gilliganmesh
15. Of Human Band-Aids
16. Of Human Bond Film
17. The GPS Says We’re East of Eden but All I See is a Walmart
18. The Autobiography of Malcolm in the Middle
19. James and the Giant Bleach
20. Jacob, Have I Hooked Up With
21. The Swiss Family Fahrvergn├╝gen
22. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderbra
23. The Five People You Meet at Work (by KateC)
24. I Know Why the Caged Bird Poops on Newspaper
25. Who Cut My Cheese
26. The Old Man and the Sea Monkey (by krud)
27. The Mime-Traveler’s Wife
28. Cyrano de Tom Bergeron
29. Tom Jones’ Diary
30. Pair of Dice, Lost
31. AbD Zhivago
32. Rosencrantz and Guilderstern are Jewish
33. TMZ Footage of the Vampire
34. Adobe Dick
35. The Last of the MoeHowards
36. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. . .because the Big Stuff is Coming and You’re Totally Screwed
37. The Naked Brunch
38. The Clan of the Care Bear
39. Kon Tiki Barber
40. The Rachel is a Lonely Hunter
41. A Winkler in Time
42. Nicholas Nickelback
43. The Font of the Baskervilles
44. The Wind in the Widows
45. All Things Great and Small, but Mostly Great
46. Battleship Down
47. Of Mice and Men Who Are Too Proud to Admit That They Are Freaked Out by Mice
48. Waterpark Down
49. Gulliver’s Extended Layovers
50. Adequate Expectations
51. How the Grinch Stole Pittsburgh
52. Alternating Tuesdays from 1:45 to 2:15 with Morrie
53. The Red Badge of Cowerage
54. Bob Marley and Me
55. The Little Artist Formerly Known as Prince
56. Angela’s Rashes
57. The Three Mouseketeers
58. A Tale of Two Suburbs
59. War and Peace and then More War
60. The Grapes of Wrath of Khan
61. The Catheter in the Rye
62. Thongs of Innocence and Experience (thedrollhouse)
63. Les Liaisons Contagieuses
64. Kanye West of the D'Ubervilles
65. Kvetch 22

Also, if the sound of my brain exploding amuses you, follow me on twitter at miss_sarah_s.

p.s. At what point do I get to list this as a skill on my resume?

Monday, October 12, 2009

Highlights

Having had (although mostly ignored) a blog for several weeks, I decided that it was a good idea to check out the competition. Blogspot has a tool where you can randomly surf to one of their blogs. Here's what popped up today. I may be jumping to conclusions here, but I think a babel-fish type translator MAY have been used on this:

Hi your on the road to taking much, i mean huge from forex market if you will follow my little advice and adapt it, i will be so pls to see your testimony rolling in.my analyzer will give you take-profit, stoploss, buy- level, sell-level and i have the nitty gritty way i use to make bug from this indicator which i will give you everything, Here is the demo i run with this great analyzer also i decide to use a broker platform that is popular so that you will not say i dont know them.if you are interested in this forex analyzer am going to give out, it worth $97 from my mentor but i will give it out at a very affordable amount so that each time you see my flag flying on anything about fx market you will be interest to try it. see you later......

Trivia: Part 13

Little known fact - in movies from the 1940's, if they show people have sex, it's a metaphor for riding a train into a tunnel. True story.